The weekend Melancholy
Monday, February 14, 2011
It was Saturday, I went home after Mr. E’s killing lecture and frowned on the overflow of people at my house. With a sigh, I told myself I could never get used of the crowd. I know myself, how much I desire to be in a quiet environment and can be free from unwanted socializing activities. But life never turns out the way we want, and never fair to certain people, including me.
I wanted to sneak into my room to get a short nap, but was stopped by my mother and ended up greeting my old neighbor, Mrs. Leong, a pleasant woman who let go of me after a short conversation. I quickly went back to my room and knocked on my sis’s door, dragged her out to discharge our duties of entertaining my parent’s guests. Whilst having dinner, along with greeting all those uncles and aunties, I saw my cousins walking into my house. I was surprised by their visit. I thought they wouldn’t be here. Even my long-absent cousin, a very energetic and cute person, KL Loo had come to my house. As usual, after settling ourselves on the chairs, we started chatting. Perhaps due to the long absent, the whole conversation was fun and interesting. We talked about all sort kind of things. We shared some weird experiences and surely, we shared laughter. I was so happy at that moment, a sense of nostalgia across my heart. I couldn’t even recall when was the last time we sat together and chat? This was one of my precious moments. I tell myself, I will never forget this reunion. This reunion, that brought back so much of my memories. However, happiness didn't remain long, the reunion ended after my cousin gone for the next meeting.
The next day, it was a disaster. I learnt a great lesson, that it is time for me to awake from blissfulness, because somehow I don’t belong to all kind of happiness, at least not now. A sudden attack of someone, eventually brought me back to the reality, I guess I just meant to rot in hell to this anonymous, because I am a despicable person, i am an unfilial and disobedient child. Yes, thanks for keep repeating that I am a scumbag like how you described me, a total unfilial being, I am so relief! I don’t need to feel stress for not being able to perform well. From now on, I want to do whatever I like, disregard of what you think of me. Get a job after the CLP, work OT until late at night, and save money to buy my own house, then be in love with someone, have a baby and live on until he/she grows up, then die. All of these, I don’t want you to participate in my decision making at all. Whether you like it or not, is my choice, I won’t stop inhale because you don’t agree with my life and decisions. You can continue cursing me, blaming me for my unfiliality, for I never the best one for you, and stop complaining that you raised me up for 24 years, you don’t need to if you don’t want. I am enough of life being sensitive of what you put to me, I don’t deserve that. Thank you. I am a monster, I am an evil. Sorry that you give birth to such indecent being. Thank you for the 24 years of “taking care” of me, I so appreciated. Thank you!
Labels: so so
Sherli ♥