phobia frenzy
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I know, i get phobia and traumatized easily even when some lil damn things happened.
For example i always stress myself to think of i would fail my exam, fail my degree, like is gonna fail myself when i cant obtain it. yes it does fail my life in some sense. at least you wont like someone to tease you in a subtle way all the time, when those ppl who will do this-ironically,are those who have blood-relationship with you.
Oh, i get all nervous too when i cant connect to internet, i am suffer from internet surfing disease...
Then, i get affect when ppl get all rush up for sth that is so trivial, this direct to my mom. i cant deny i inherite this from her, she stress me up for lil thing, like my shipping stuffs havent arrived, she shows big action like i put in golds and rugbies into the boxes. mom, thats just clothes! she makes my illusion and imgination for once again work up pretty well. like maybe someone put in sth in my boxes thats why i got delayed this and that. holy crap mom can u give me PEACE。
I always want to think positively, is just some people mess me up all the time, refraining me from what i want to do. so, in order to gain peace and happiness, i give up a lot of thing, but still all depressed sometimes.now that i decide i gonna work in my country, dont ask me why if i have a chance i wont want to step back and live with my parents. they stress me to no where, bloody hell, father does the same mother does the same, i have enough with the stupid advice. i swear to myself i gonna work hard and buy my own super mansion!!! is not that i dont love them, is i really cannot imagine i have to live with them. my mom never respect her daughters, she thinks who is richer than who should be the dictators. thanks mom you make me learn how i should treat my child if i ever have one. i gonna make him/her feels happy, give them enough money, never complaint when they ask for money, never said they are blood sucker cos they ask for money. i will not spoil them with money, i will give them what they desire- in a positive way. i will love them each day, so when i die one day, they wont think the time we get together is too short, because the loves i transfer to them start from the minute they not even born- the infinity. damn, i really want to go to sperm bank....
My mom keeps hunting me bcos the boxes i sent back havent arrived. i now get tick bcos she makes me nervous. i should be more stable though. i need to learn not to affect by her emotion. mom, i dont put ur belonging inside my boxes...they ARE my boxes not urs!!
i am pissed, i am really pissed sometimes. i am glad pixie and grace actually understand my feeling, i mean the part our freedom get restricted when living with parents....i need to see my old day friends so eagerly that i sort of cry for it.
Recently i have done nth...just i get addicted to cinema, like i havent been for too long and now i have a chance i just want to stick with it. haha. oh, i alway do my farmville and fishville...hahaha
miss mel makes so much effort to finally send me the cv, i dont even bother to work on mine....is like, i gonna break her fragile heart if she found out this fact, mel, i am just too lazy u know right...==
i dunno i dunno i dunno...hahahha..i need to sleep already....
Sherli ♥