Sth random
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Honestly, i dont believe in forever, everlasting....i dont believe until someone prove me wrong. Friends, lovers.....relationship that forms from trust, mentally support, ...these are so unrealiable and untouchable. Even if it was blood sisters and brothers, it is enough tiring by just to mantain the harmonious of relationship. Nothing comes without any giving up. I am old enough... at least old enough to downplay any kind of relationship, just to keep me free from those shitty emotions. As time goes by, my blood sisters grown up, i sometimes listen to their stories and my mind goes far to the past, as if and indeed, i used to come across what they are experiencing now.
The past has made me who and what i am today. My friends come and go, i dont give a damn. My sense tells me if i immersed too much into relationship, i eventually will be a loser. I need friends, but not too many; or maybe, in fact, i need 'friends' that can help me over for my next stage of life. All of the sudden, i thought of my future lover...or maybe just husband?? how will he look like? how should i treat him? will he cherish me? will he pay my shopping bills?? will he just love me? will i be the one he wants? I used to figure out a lot about this, when i am all alone and when i am cooking. I can cook, i can do a lil massage, i will take care of my children well, i will educate them to be happy and discipline beings....will he be proud of me, if i could really do these?
Sherli ♥