the night fantasy
Thursday, October 19, 2006
I always could not sleep tight at night. I have a lot to think in my brain but they are not about studies. My thoughts are grey and blue. Everytime i feel like writing, is all about my sorrowness, but i dunno why i will feel so sad sometimes....I try to immerse myself into something just to get rid off my thought but i couldnt help to be....to be....not grim.
Time flies, it is mid october now, i haven started to study and not even start my presentation...i am so afraid of standing on the stage, i hate those who i hate will sit somewhere below and tease at me. I hate them like i hate the cockcroach. I am not a kind one myself, so i dun mind to be a culprit, if only i could be one.
I have a fantasy, i hope i am not myself, i hope i could be fake, i hope i can be like my sister.....i have great time in fantasizing....but i could not even hold on myself. Tonight i am insomnia again....i need to slog through my textbooks seriously next week, i need to complete my presentation next week....i have tons of stuff to do.....but i cannot concentrate....sigh!